Aradhana :)

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I guess she is the best possible happiness that I have felt in my life. Though it was troublesome throughout my entire journey of pregnancy, and also coping up with post pregnancy issues, are all worth it when she just looks at me and smiles. I had several priorities in my life, friends, family, career.. everything has taken a back stage after her arrival. Tomorrow she s completing 2 months of her life and it sure does feel like I have given birth to her just yesterday !

Radha’s wedding @ Kumbakonam

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                     We started by 12-dec night. Though we booked in first class A/C in Rockfort express, boarding the train in tambaram was bit of a struggle as A/C coaches were not together and esp the first class A/c was seperated. The train was supposed to halt for jus couple of mins and we had to hurry to the First AC compartment. I couldn’t run and we boarded the train few compartments before in 3rd AC compartments. Train started almost immediately after we boarded. We finally reached our respective coach and timing was perfect that train reached chengelpet station. Athai and athimber were waiting there with much anticipation. After few minutes we started sleeping and train was going like a rocking coach. I felt very difficult and uncomfortable, had to sit for few minutes throughout the night and somehow manage. Can relate this to maatu vandi which is bit faster with less bumpy roads!!

When we reached Kumbakonam, we were happy that there were no stairs like in Tambaram. We saw Balaji, Govind’s cousin awaiting our arrival. We chose to take a cab instead of van since I felt it would delay and also van was not comfortable after the tiresome journey. We paid 200/- and reached the mandapam in 20 mins.

Since the train reached there around 7:45 only, the Jathagarna Namagarnam function was over. We dressed up and everyone went to have breakfast and coffee. Appa got pongal and vadai for me and I had it after long time. Appa, amma, athai, athimber left to tour on some temples. I was left chatting with Radha and other ppl there. Later once ppl are back frm temple, we got ready for the Nitchaythartham function in the evening. It happened in the Uppiliappan kovil mandapam. Since next day it was early morning muhurtham we planned to sleep early, but finally after doing all talking we slept around 11 I guess. Before I was ready in the morning the Unjal function started and I came perfectly when they were coming back to medai. Wedding was over in a couple of hours. Had gud time seeing the events and taking snaps.

Appa and Amma again went to temples and rain started to pour outside as I was thinking of going to Kovil. Finally dropped the plan and went on to sleep. Woke up later and thought of talking with Radha, but she went for marriage registration and other formalities. So I started packing for the night return journey. Since its the same train, I mentally prepared myself for the worst conditions. There was a kalyana urchavam organised by my inlaws in the temple, so was attending that in the evening. Came back and packed everything and left to station bit early. But since it was first platform, we need not climb any stairs. Also we got a stroller and porter to take our luggages. Rched tambaram in the wee hours of the morning and were welcomed by mild rain which later turned to a heavier one. Finally reached home and slept for few hrs to gain back basic energy! ๐Ÿ™‚

Aug 1st

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It was a normal day.. finally it ended to be a very terrible one. I donโ€™t need any reminders to remember what effect this day this year has caused in my life. One great mind, closest to my heart passed away, and I couldnโ€™t do anything, except treasure the memories.

Death makes us feel how little and helpless we are. We are nothing but just idle watchers. This really makes me pathetic when the closest people move away and its really hard to face the absence as reality and proceed with the life as if nothing has happened. If you are grief stricken people call you sentimental.. if that goes more than the expected time we are named mental.. so hardly I talk about what makes me feel sad, as people really donโ€™t care the impact its having on me. Everyone want me to be practical or watever you name it to forget dead people.. So I stopped talking about it to people who ask me to forget.

No one can understand, no one can even come close to understanding. It is not the same grief to everyone and it holds the same to joy.

Hope not to talk about the people to other people.. which is the cause of everything.. better to keep it within the mind.. which is like un failing gmail having all the conversations in order with lot of memory ๐Ÿ™‚

People and their words..

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People always feel happy to talk whatever they want .. hardly few think about the implications that it causes in other personโ€™s emotional outcome. Age, sex, money.. nothing matters.. I see people with foul mouths daily.. and even though I try to think that its only my perception .. and  try to put myself to their shoes.. I still see that I wont talk that way if I am in any such situation..

Finally I come to see really ill faced smart people.. who are looked up as big guys/gals.. some people ofcourse like them.. dono whether their behavior is bad only to meโ€ฆ or they are trying to teach me a lesson.. God Knows.. Me dono.

And it really hurts when people talk bad about the people you love and they tell you its just for fun. It doesnโ€™t hurt only at the time they talk.. it hurts whenever I think about them. Its weird that I have to face such people so often in my good and bad times. It doesnโ€™t take a split second to contaminate my mind and mouth like theirs to teach them a lesson, still feel that I couldnโ€™t do it. I feel better I didnโ€™t do the same way, I feel really good thinking Am far better than the filthy mind such people have. Hope I stay the same way. Gud that I am occupied with work, rather than dealing with such people. Kind of blessing in disguise stuff..

008 – its over!

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Today is the last day of this calendar yr.. Though tere is lot hype created around this new yr stuff.. I exactly dono the impact it has in everyone’s life except for the change in the yr in their calendars.. and ofcourse ppl get older ๐Ÿ˜› But calendars are gud actually.. they come in different colors, sizes, shapes and ofcourse with astrology predictions.. and wat not… even explanation abt tat particular day.. hmm.. when I jus sit around here lazing and thinking about the new yr and great/bad stuff happened in the last yr.. thats quiet a lot.. to say..

-> I wanted to quit my job and since I didn’t get any job I changed my team, the least tat can be done! (I also want my manager to quit, but I don think he gives a try to that thought! ๐Ÿ˜› )

-> I learned a lot abt *people* as we do always in all part of our life, in a harder way

-> I donated a lot of money this year without anyone’s knowledge than I ever thought..

-> I got my first credit card this yr.. finally one bank trusted me, while many rejected my application ๐Ÿ˜

-> I changed my mobile since I lost mine 3 yr old one in my friend’s wedding ๐Ÿ˜ฆ and this new one costed 6k, which many of my colleagues think its old fashioned.

-> I stopped visiting deals2buy.com/ebay.com for time pass, which always ended up asking ppl at home for some junk digital stuff, which ofcourse costs a fortune according to them.

-> hey, Chandrayaan was launched on my birthday ๐Ÿ˜›

-> I stopped working for 15 hrs a day and started sleeping 15 hrs a day

-> I understood how wrigley’s double mint becomes sticky when I keep it under my shelf for 6 months ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

-> I figured out I won’t die if there is no internet!

-> My room is air-conditioned finally!

-> I concluded that I wont be able to read any book completely – after wasting lot of money in buying and stacking them

-> I understood at some point that money isn’t making me happy anymore!

This list goes on and I think there are yet more *understood* *figure-out* *concluded* *learned* needs to happen this yr too.. life need to move on whatever it is and I think it does teaches everyone its lesson dues at the proper instant! Only way is to have our senses open to Learn!

Sitting alone in dark..

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It can be a different experience , if you are not afraid of so cald dark nite creatures.. vampires, ghosts etc..

I just listen to the latest fav song, just thinking what I have gone through these days.. one single word stands out.. friends!

So wat it is like to miss your friends when they are so near, yet away.. last few years hav gone very fast and just now I got some vetti time to think it.. For everyone college life would rather end up as fun, romance, or even with simple sadness ( am not talking about the arrear papers ๐Ÿ˜› LOL) but I am just left with some memories of many ppl, but still I am not able to figure out those are happy ones or sad ones.. but it always feels good to remember ppl in later part of life.. no no am not in my sixties.. ๐Ÿ™‚

I joined a college and was put up in college hostel…  Hmm… it was a great life.. and the one I laughed lots than ever in my life. It was a place of everything ( i mean insects too) but I loved it.. be it scaring the gal sleeping next to me or sleeping in hostel when classes are in progress without anyones knowledge or making the place dirty with all my assignment papers.. or acting innocent for something I did which screwed up seniors who are searching my roomies for it ๐Ÿ˜› everything just looks like dream. Now all my room mates in the hostel are not in touch with me, but I still keep track of them through some source or the other.. Not that I don want to break the ice.. but there is no ice .. but lot of mist which makes people think something is there, even if it is not there ..

Why all this flashback suddenly… out of the blue one of my frend (x roomie) cald up and told another roomie s carrying and they (some bunch of new found frens) paying visit to her. And told me to be in touch.. No idea why ppl are calling up now, though I have an accessible phone number for the past 3 years, that too same number.. may be she also sat alone in dark sometime recently.. ! ??

And one more frend of mine was having bday in jan 20th, so just sent a bday wish.. but got a response which meant surprise + advice. May be people forget that everyone grow up sometime and can also have some stuff within skull to think abt.. Then I finally understood one point that whenever someone wishes for gud, then we should accept rather than contemplating with past and it hurts the otherside badly when wishes are thrashed or questioned.

Was watching dasavatharam with appa today.. and there was this once scene in which one char n the movie tells.. “Watever happens..! Life must go on!”.. I was suddenly getting the point about everything.. watever happy/sad .. whether love/hate.. life must go on.. since we might be of some help to someone.. someday..! and it might be anyday.. ๐Ÿ™‚ which could turn out to be a gud day ๐Ÿ˜€

Relationships last? or lost?

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There was time when, I was a kid thought about having atleast few friends who are there for my me for who I am and not for the money/some stupid selfish stuff.. I should say that I am not 100% successful in that thought… I still have frends who like to listen the gud and bad frm me… but as we know priorities change in life as we move on.. and we have to move on with the changing priorities.. this happens especially with my frens who are gals… and planning starts when they get engaged and implements when this marriage thing comes to place. OK, here ppl will tend to say this is not the same with current gen gals.. but I don see any difference, sudden isolation, sudden privacy.. it all happens.. may be am not sure why this happens since I am still not into any traps ๐Ÿ™‚ but no idea why this happens.

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Situation 1:

me: hey hi wats up? hows married life?

she: yup, life is great…

me: so wat plans next..?

she: jus thinking over.. hey looks like am getting a cal frm husband we wil talk later.

me: bye (she already left!) ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

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Situation 2:

me: hey hi wats up? hows married life?

he: life is great ya.. she is one great gal I would die to hav in my life..

me: thats kool man.. so u fellas having a great time.. ๐Ÿ™‚

he: yup maam, why dont u come home this sunday or we will meetup in some restaurant.. I was telling to her abt u and she was interested in meeting u..

me: sure boss.. we wil plan for it.. catch ya later.. bye bye

he: hey bye so soon.. ok, be in touch.. cal up to update the plans ok..? ๐Ÿ™‚ bye!

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I have known both he and she in the same perspective and they used to call up every now and then for vetti chat and gossips and ofcourse computer reboot issues ๐Ÿ˜‰ But finally looks like “he” is having some time for friends and “shes” though seem to be free is always busy. May be “shes” are more interested in meeting their husband’s friends than their own pals.. no idea why there is a sudden shift.. I don blame she or he.. but I don get the point behind it..