I see achievers daily..

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I see them in papers, blogs.. these days even I bump into them in facebook..

Looks like they are born and not made for some people.. but I guess everyone can be made into what they want them to be. Atleast I think so. For some it might require less effort,.. for others it might require a lifetime of dedication. I always wanted to be an achiever.. never decided the field yet though 😛

Now that I have achieved some food for my thought today I sleep peacefully. I also understood that brain can also become obese sometimes unless we share the thoughts with others. Any thoughts gud or bad need to be shared with someone or other.. who knows people can tell “wat an idea sirji” and u may become a poster boy for some gud work 🙂


Counting ..


huh.. 4 months passed … away frm home.. waiting to get back home.. counting days.. dragging weeks and making it to months.. count count.. time fly now.. 😦

Missing as always!

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I am not sure if we could have done a knee replacement to my granny earlier.. she was getting worse day by day…

After I read this story in news paperI do not know why I feel the guilt.

During her final stages her thigh bone was fractured and we had to take her to hospital. Until we took her to hospital we were not aware that she was suffering from fracture. Once the fracture was fixed with a very complicated surgery we came to know that fluid in her lungs is not helping her breathe and also other vital organs started to collapse creating serious problems. She was 92. We did not know what to do as we always depend on her suggestions and thoughts. Finally we parted with her, and she still remains with us always as the ever loved one.

Time, money, youth may fade… our respect and love towards my granny never fades away. In couple of months it will almost be an year after her loss.. still I feel it as yesterday and I couldn’t come out of the grief the moment I think about her. Not sure if this is even natural for people to feel the loss even after an year. But it all looks fresh to me.

Her hand used to be so soft and cold. I still remember the days when I come back home from office to her and we keep discussing how she is still beautiful and smart. Though she was not able to walk much her face was always bright and welcomed everyone home with her beautiful warm phrases. She was always religious but yet modern with all the latest headlines around the world. She was very much interested in cricket and we used to watch all the matches with her, she always gives the better commentary than the original match commenter. We can never forget the days we both tried to understand what an LBW was and how wide and no ball are sometimes missed by umpires when we needed crucial runs.

I really miss her and understand how it feels to loose people to death 😦

Unexpected trip


Its not that I never wanted to come here. But never thought about it. Officially, personally felt that I never had any opportunity to drop in here. But unexpected becomes expected once expected turns out to be history. So again I came here to the same place, similar work. It always reminds me of my previous trip.. the tiresome travelling, bad food in flight, back pain, anxiety in family, missing baggage finally :-S

Everything comes for a price..! But when it exceeds MRP we need to rethink. So far not bad. Lets see how it shapes out to be.


Move on?

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This is wat I hear whenever I catch up with something bad which i cannot change. People tell me to just move on as it is part of life. I couldn’t at most of the time.. that when everyone call me and my thoughts as old. Sometimes it is, but how do we tell something is new and old.. just by the time it has lived.. and when someone is dead.. we mourn .. if we keep mourning people tell us the same “move on” and  our thoughts which we have for the dead person need to be fixed. hmm… whatever people try to tell.. something just stays with us forever.. like the habit of biting nails.. or reading a book while eating..

May be everyone doesn’t be sad or look sad.. or they keep things to their heart always. We are forced to celebrate festivals.. though my intention is just to think about the people who cared and not with me today. Not sure whether the force festive mood works well. For some people it does.. people who relish festivities more than anything else..!

Writing or thinking abt something/someone who is gone doesnt bring them back.. at the least we can get the thoughts running into those humorous moments shared.. teh most exciting thing I always feel about human mind is the ability to imagine and bring back moment in real HD quality.. hope still we have time for those who had time for us …

First new year without the most important person in my life. The one without whom I would have never learnt anything..! Life doesn’t always move on.. Many times we just don’t look in rear view mirror.. we get out of the car and look back.. even if it is for a moment.. it helps us through the rest of the journey.. not sure everyone will understand this.. only people who are through the tougher road will get the idea quick and clear..

Aug 1st

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It was a normal day.. finally it ended to be a very terrible one. I don’t need any reminders to remember what effect this day this year has caused in my life. One great mind, closest to my heart passed away, and I couldn’t do anything, except treasure the memories.

Death makes us feel how little and helpless we are. We are nothing but just idle watchers. This really makes me pathetic when the closest people move away and its really hard to face the absence as reality and proceed with the life as if nothing has happened. If you are grief stricken people call you sentimental.. if that goes more than the expected time we are named mental.. so hardly I talk about what makes me feel sad, as people really don’t care the impact its having on me. Everyone want me to be practical or watever you name it to forget dead people.. So I stopped talking about it to people who ask me to forget.

No one can understand, no one can even come close to understanding. It is not the same grief to everyone and it holds the same to joy.

Hope not to talk about the people to other people.. which is the cause of everything.. better to keep it within the mind.. which is like un failing gmail having all the conversations in order with lot of memory 🙂

People and their words..


People always feel happy to talk whatever they want .. hardly few think about the implications that it causes in other person’s emotional outcome. Age, sex, money.. nothing matters.. I see people with foul mouths daily.. and even though I try to think that its only my perception .. and  try to put myself to their shoes.. I still see that I wont talk that way if I am in any such situation..

Finally I come to see really ill faced smart people.. who are looked up as big guys/gals.. some people ofcourse like them.. dono whether their behavior is bad only to me… or they are trying to teach me a lesson.. God Knows.. Me dono.

And it really hurts when people talk bad about the people you love and they tell you its just for fun. It doesn’t hurt only at the time they talk.. it hurts whenever I think about them. Its weird that I have to face such people so often in my good and bad times. It doesn’t take a split second to contaminate my mind and mouth like theirs to teach them a lesson, still feel that I couldn’t do it. I feel better I didn’t do the same way, I feel really good thinking Am far better than the filthy mind such people have. Hope I stay the same way. Gud that I am occupied with work, rather than dealing with such people. Kind of blessing in disguise stuff..

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