Aug 1st

It was a normal day.. finally it ended to be a very terrible one. I don’t need any reminders to remember what effect this day this year has caused in my life. One great mind, closest to my heart passed away, and I couldn’t do anything, except treasure the memories.

Death makes us feel how little and helpless we are. We are nothing but just idle watchers. This really makes me pathetic when the closest people move away and its really hard to face the absence as reality and proceed with the life as if nothing has happened. If you are grief stricken people call you sentimental.. if that goes more than the expected time we are named mental.. so hardly I talk about what makes me feel sad, as people really don’t care the impact its having on me. Everyone want me to be practical or watever you name it to forget dead people.. So I stopped talking about it to people who ask me to forget.

No one can understand, no one can even come close to understanding. It is not the same grief to everyone and it holds the same to joy.

Hope not to talk about the people to other people.. which is the cause of everything.. better to keep it within the mind.. which is like un failing gmail having all the conversations in order with lot of memory

People and their words..

People always feel happy to talk whatever they want .. hardly few think about the implications that it causes in other person’s emotional outcome. Age, sex, money.. nothing matters.. I see people with foul mouths daily.. and even though I try to think that its only my perception .. and  try to put myself to their shoes.. I still see that I wont talk that way if I am in any such situation..

Finally I come to see really ill faced smart people.. who are looked up as big guys/gals.. some people ofcourse like them.. dono whether their behavior is bad only to me… or they are trying to teach me a lesson.. God Knows.. Me dono.

And it really hurts when people talk bad about the people you love and they tell you its just for fun. It doesn’t hurt only at the time they talk.. it hurts whenever I think about them. Its weird that I have to face such people so often in my good and bad times. It doesn’t take a split second to contaminate my mind and mouth like theirs to teach them a lesson, still feel that I couldn’t do it. I feel better I didn’t do the same way, I feel really good thinking Am far better than the filthy mind such people have. Hope I stay the same way. Gud that I am occupied with work, rather than dealing with such people. Kind of blessing in disguise stuff..

008 – its over!

Today is the last day of this calendar yr.. Though tere is lot hype created around this new yr stuff.. I exactly dono the impact it has in everyone’s life except for the change in the yr in their calendars.. and ofcourse ppl get older But calendars are gud actually.. they come in different colors, sizes, shapes and ofcourse with astrology predictions.. and wat not… even explanation abt tat particular day.. hmm.. when I jus sit around here lazing and thinking about the new yr and great/bad stuff happened in the last yr.. thats quiet a lot.. to say..

-> I wanted to quit my job and since I didn’t get any job I changed my team, the least tat can be done! (I also want my manager to quit, but I don think he gives a try to that thought! )

-> I learned a lot abt *people* as we do always in all part of our life, in a harder way

-> I donated a lot of money this year without anyone’s knowledge than I ever thought..

-> I got my first credit card this yr.. finally one bank trusted me, while many rejected my application

-> I changed my mobile since I lost mine 3 yr old one in my friend’s wedding and this new one costed 6k, which many of my colleagues think its old fashioned.

-> I stopped visiting deals2buy.com/ebay.com for time pass, which always ended up asking ppl at home for some junk digital stuff, which ofcourse costs a fortune according to them.

-> hey, Chandrayaan was launched on my birthday

-> I stopped working for 15 hrs a day and started sleeping 15 hrs a day

-> I understood how wrigley’s double mint becomes sticky when I keep it under my shelf for 6 months

-> I figured out I won’t die if there is no internet!

-> My room is air-conditioned finally!

-> I concluded that I wont be able to read any book completely – after wasting lot of money in buying and stacking them

-> I understood at some point that money isn’t making me happy anymore!

This list goes on and I think there are yet more *understood* *figure-out* *concluded* *learned* needs to happen this yr too.. life need to move on whatever it is and I think it does teaches everyone its lesson dues at the proper instant! Only way is to have our senses open to Learn!

Sitting alone in dark..

It can be a different experience , if you are not afraid of so cald dark nite creatures.. vampires, ghosts etc..

I just listen to the latest fav song, just thinking what I have gone through these days.. one single word stands out.. friends!

So wat it is like to miss your friends when they are so near, yet away.. last few years hav gone very fast and just now I got some vetti time to think it.. For everyone college life would rather end up as fun, romance, or even with simple sadness ( am not talking about the arrear papers LOL) but I am just left with some memories of many ppl, but still I am not able to figure out those are happy ones or sad ones.. but it always feels good to remember ppl in later part of life.. no no am not in my sixties..

I joined a college and was put up in college hostel…  Hmm… it was a great life.. and the one I laughed lots than ever in my life. It was a place of everything ( i mean insects too) but I loved it.. be it scaring the gal sleeping next to me or sleeping in hostel when classes are in progress without anyones knowledge or making the place dirty with all my assignment papers.. or acting innocent for something I did which screwed up seniors who are searching my roomies for it everything just looks like dream. Now all my room mates in the hostel are not in touch with me, but I still keep track of them through some source or the other.. Not that I don want to break the ice.. but there is no ice .. but lot of mist which makes people think something is there, even if it is not there ..

Why all this flashback suddenly… out of the blue one of my frend (x roomie) cald up and told another roomie s carrying and they (some bunch of new found frens) paying visit to her. And told me to be in touch.. No idea why ppl are calling up now, though I have an accessible phone number for the past 3 years, that too same number.. may be she also sat alone in dark sometime recently.. ! ??

And one more frend of mine was having bday in jan 20th, so just sent a bday wish.. but got a response which meant surprise + advice. May be people forget that everyone grow up sometime and can also have some stuff within skull to think abt.. Then I finally understood one point that whenever someone wishes for gud, then we should accept rather than contemplating with past and it hurts the otherside badly when wishes are thrashed or questioned.

Was watching dasavatharam with appa today.. and there was this once scene in which one char n the movie tells.. “Watever happens..! Life must go on!”.. I was suddenly getting the point about everything.. watever happy/sad .. whether love/hate.. life must go on.. since we might be of some help to someone.. someday..! and it might be anyday.. which could turn out to be a gud day

People, change…! Rarely?

I dono why people place their change Vs ego policy or change Vs benefit policy..

 

I Stil Don’t KNOW!!

IT job offers – Ultimate comedy time ..

Early Morning at about 10:30 Am, got a phone call.. was pissed off like how tom feels when hit with hammer by jerry..

k.. coming to the point… jus thought some airtel/vodafone junk call.. didnt attend it. after few secs again call frm the same number.. now i opened my eye to see that it was a landline number.. ok let me attend..

Me: hello..

Other End: Hello Madam can I talk to Archana Madam..???!!

Me: yes madam.. (remember am stil sleeping .. bzzzz!)

Other End: We have an excellent job opportunity from one of the top MNC in India. Its a CMM level-5 company madam, which requires the following skill set.. Are u gud at shell scripting and perl madam

Me: yes… (bzzzz!)

Other End: U are comfortable in working with unix background, and also solaris..

Me: yes (bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!)

Other End: Madam shall i send ur resume to one of our client

Me: yes.. u can….. (yawning…………..!)

Other End: Helo Madam.. u tere..

Me: ya tel me.. there was some disturbance in the line.. ( hehehe)

Other End: ok maam, am sending ur profile to the client. job location is at Jaipur..

Me: Shook up . woke up.. wat… huh… :O

It was my dream I din wake up still.. and phone was stil ringing with some mobile number.. ok let me chk whether my dream s some deja vu stuff.. attended the call with utmost interest..

Me: woke up completely.. with utmost perfection in voice .. here goes c’mon.. hello..

Other End: Some music.. then “Airtel offers u unlimited talktime with blah blah blah…” oh.. again a bad day with airtel ad call

Watever.. why did jaipur come into picture… huh got it.. was looking at our family trip to jaipur snaps the previous nite before sleep.. too much..

Finally concluded.. its a remix of dejavu and real flash back.. hehehe

How does it feel to sleep early

I usually sleep late.. or can phrase is as early morning..
which may sound bizzaire for proper humans.. never mind.. I jus feel comfortable doin tat.. and often bunked office stating the same reason (not well .. !) would wake up by 11 and jus think for ten mins in bed the pros and cons of goin to office.. finally will end up taking leave…

yesterday for the purpose of research (no better reason i got) slept bit early.. meaning 8PM.. Din think of sleeping at that time actually but fell asleep.. Jus woke up and checked the time it was 4Am n the morning.. Dono wat to do.. not feeling sleepy.. so jus started playing my favourite game

Jus heard dad talking to granny.. so thought would jus peep in with a very high expectation that I might be offered a coffe or horlics.. but appa advised me to get back to sleep..
Came back to my room.. played solitaire 3 more games.. with success % stil under 20 (felt ok since i din loose all the games)

Amma woke up again.. jus went and told hi.. she jus looked and asked.. “Archu, planning to sleep now only..?” I was surprised tat no one n home noticed I slept early .. :-S I replied.. ” Illa ma.. jus woke up..” thinking she wil be offering coffe or tea or atleast water.. she then went to sleep… no reaction..
Felt bad.. wats this.. no respect (this can be compromised) but no cofe, no tea, no horlics.. :’(
Now its 5:41Am, till now no signs of mom or dad being happy with their kid waking up early different frm the previous days.. Should check and wait till 6.. No cofe offered then will jus get back to sleep or watch chutti tv…